


Eventually This Hurting Will End

by theletterdee



Series: Go Ask Your Mother - Myranda Lavellan [2]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Bad News by Letter, Gen, Mom and Dad of the Inquisition, Pre-Relationship, adopted family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-17
Updated: 2016-03-17
Packaged: 2018-05-27 04:55:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6270397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theletterdee/pseuds/theletterdee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Myranda gets a letter from her old Keeper containing bad news, her "mom" and "dad" are there to comfort her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Eventually This Hurting Will End

It had started as a joke, really. Something for Myranda to tease Varric about ever since he made that slip of the tongue and referred to Cassandra as Myranda’s mother. She’d run off the second he’d realized what he said and _of course_ told Cassandra all about it. He’d reached the pair (Myranda had embraced Cassandra from behind and called her “ _Mamae_ ”) right as Myranda finished explaining what had happened (and refusing to let go of the flustered warrior) and Cassandra met his eyes in shock while he caught his breath from running after the sprightly elf. She went pink in the face (it was cute, if he had to say so), but allowed the Inquisitor her fun.

It was a joke… until it wasn’t.

The weeks passed, turning into months as Myranda’s duties increased and so did the pressure on her shoulders. Nothing like holding the weight of the known world on your back while you simply tried to survive. Myranda was a bright kid, always had a snarky comeback, but her smiles were slowly diminishing and both Varric and Cassandra could see the shadows under her eyes, indicating sleepless nights. Not even Myranda’s lover, Iron Bull could help bear the burden that Myranda shouldered.

And then the letter came.

Myranda’s old Keeper had written, it was short, but the content was heavy. The Inquisitor had taken one look at it during a planning session for the masquerade ball in Halamshiral and abruptly left the war council meeting nearly in tears. Cassandra followed her after a moment, stopping in the great hall as Myranda made a beeline for her private quarters. She caught Varric’s eye and motioned with her head to follow her.

He did without a second thought, “What’s up, Seeker?”

“Myranda.”

“She alright? I saw her flight from the council meeting, I didn’t think the day would come where she’s actually bored to tears,” he chuckled, but the mirth died out when he saw the sadness clinging to Cassandra’s eyes, etched into the corners of her mouth. “What is it?”

“She got a letter and left, I wanted to ask if you would come with me to check on her,” Cassandra answered softly, careful to keep their conversation from prying eyes and ears. “I’m worried,” she added after a pause.

“So am I, let’s go check on our kid,” He had to smile at the blush appearing on Cassandra’s cheeks. She smiled faintly back and led the way up to Myranda’s chambers high up in the tower. Cassandra knocked on the door and opened once they heard Myranda’s voice.

“Inquisitor?” Cassandra asked while they walked up the steps into the room. She spotted Myranda sitting on the floor of her balcony, the wind teasing the dark red strands of hair falling out of her intricate updo. “Myranda?” She asked softer when the woman didn’t respond, “how are you feeling?”

“Cold,” came the quiet reply. Cassandra sat down next to Myranda on her right while Varric pulled one of the furs on Myranda’s bed and wrapped Myranda up in it before sitting down on the other side of her. “Thank you.”

“Any time, kid,” he lightly nudged her chin with his knuckles, “what was in the letter? Cassandra told me,” he clarified at her questioning look.

Myranda sighed and wiped below her eyes as tears fell. She leaned up against Cassandra’s shoulder and handed the crumpled letter in her hands to Varric, “You can read it.”

Varric glanced down at the letter and cleared his throat, “ _Da’len_ ,” he began as Cassandra wrapped her arm around Myranda’s waist, “ _I am sorry to write this letter to you on top of all your other duties, but you must know. Your mother, Iona, has finally left us and departed this world. I know you were worried about leaving her all those months ago when the opportunity for spying on the Conclave arose and your name was offered up. She had been sick a long time and you cared for her as much as you could for all these years. Iona is at peace, child, remember that in these coming days. Should you need anything, just write. Dareth shiral, Keeper Deshanna_. Sparks… I’m so sorry.”

“I am too,” Cassandra rested her cheek against the top of Myranda’s head while her hand smoothed up and down her fur-covered upper arm. Myranda leaned further into the Seeker, one of her hands sneaking out under the fur to clasp Varric’s and she squeezed it. Silence settled over the three of them, save for Myranda’s sniffles and occasional hiccup.

“I knew… I just somehow knew this would happen. I mean, you do, when it’s for a long time,” Myranda’s voice startled them, “I knew she would die, just not when I wasn’t there to say goodbye… I never even said goodbye to my own mother.”

“Life does not always give you what you want, it is cruel in that way,” Cassandra held Myranda closer, resting her chin on top of the elf’s hair when she wrapped her arms around Cassandra’s waist and snuggled closer, seeking comfort. “I did not get the chance to say goodbye to… Anthony either, but I know he knew I loved him, just as your mother knows you loved her. Take comfort in the fact that she is no longer unwell, that she is no longer hurting.”

“I know, I’m just… I feel numb, and I’m sad that I’m not feeling as sad as I should be about it.”

“Hey, Sparks, I’ve been there,” Varric scooted closer, one of his hands settling on Myranda’s back, the warmth of it seeping in through the fur. “My mother was in a situation a lot like yours. She died after many, many years of being sick and I felt just like you. I thought that I should be more sad than I was, but then I realized something. Want to know?”

“What?”

“I had already mourned her in a small way. When her mind went and I realized that she was just a shell of the woman I had known and been raised by, I mourned that loss. By the time she did actually die, I had already accepted that she had died… does that make sense?”

He could see Myranda turning this over in her mind, her brows furrowed as she tried to comprehend all that he’d told her. Her hazel eyes looked blankly out over the mountain peaks surrounding Skyhold and then something behind them clicked. “I think I get it…”

“Process your emotions how ever they feel right for you, Sparks, and in your own time. Just know that we’re here for you, all of us.”

“Thanks… thanks, Papa,” the watery smirk that accompanied the teasing title was worth the exasperation.

“ _Papa_?” He asked, incredulously as Myranda giggled and Cassandra hid her smile in Myranda’s hair. “I deserve a glorious elvhen title like you gave Cassandra, Sparks.”

Myranda shook her head, “I wouldn’t know it, my father wasn’t in my life and most of my friends had adopted the human Marcher name. I could go the ‘Pa’ route.”

Varric imitated, or tried to imitate, the patented Pentaghast disgusted noise and failed miserably by the outright burst of laughter coming from both of the women in front of him. “No, just no to that one. I’m fine with ‘papa’.”

“Do you mean it?” Myranda asked quietly when she and Cassandra had calmed down.

Varric took the hand she offered and held it in both of hers, “I do, Myranda, I mean it.”

She sat up to look Cassandra in the eye, “And you? Are you alright with me calling you my mother?”

Cassandra later wouldn’t deny the certain pleasant feeling that came with the word ‘mother’ rolling off Myranda’s tongue. She looked at the Inquisitor and thought back, truly thought about the journey that not only she’d gone on but the one they’d gone on together. She was proud of the person Myranda had become and she knew that pride would only grow in the coming months. She thought of all the conversations they’d had, usually ending in hugs (Myranda is a very physically affectionate person) and laughter even if the subjects were heavy. She thought of the times Myranda would sit by her as they read books under the shade of a tree, very aware of the elf sneaking looks over her shoulder and sometimes giving up on her own novel to rest her chin on said shoulder and curl up next to Cassandra. The thought of Myranda calling her ‘mamae’ or any other variation of that title warmed her heart, up until now it had mainly been in jest, a joke that Cassandra let the girl have in such a weighty time as leading the Inquisition, but now… Now she knew it was just Myranda giving a name to their relationship and she welcomed it, “I do, Myranda. I would be honored.”

Tears gathered in Myranda’s eyes as she settled back down in Cassandra’s arms and she tugged on her hand still held by Varric to pull him into the hug. She sniffed and sighed, relaxing between them, feeling Varric’s head resting on her shoulder and the press of Cassandra’s lips to her hairline. The sadness over her mother’s death still dwelled in her heart and Myranda knew it would remain there for an unknown time, perhaps for the rest of her life even, but sitting on the cold stone floor wrapped up in a fur and the embrace of the two people who probably were the closest things she had to parents, Myranda felt at peace.

“Can I still go set things on fire and blame it on grief, though?”

“ _Myranda_!” Cassandra’s exasperated tone made Myranda grin and Varric shake his head fondly.

At least some things didn’t change.

**Author's Note:**

> Varric's advice/response/whatever it's called about his mother is partially inspired by how my mother currently is feeling regarding her father (my grandfather) who has pretty much lost his memory these days. She's accepted the fact that her dad is gone and has been mourning the loss ever since. So, yeah. Also didn't mean for this to be sad, but sometimes it turns out that way. 
> 
> Keep a look out for a modern au with these three where Myranda's the teenage foster daughter of Cassandra dead set on getting her mom and Varric together. :)


End file.
